is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
