So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
