People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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