So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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