I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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