Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
