I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize