Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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