you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
