Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
