I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize