I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When did angry sex become our thing?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
