i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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