I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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