I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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