is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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