things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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