is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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