Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
