To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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