yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
