her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
