It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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