I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Where is the hickey?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
