she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
