im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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