Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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