Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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