I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
