kristin has been a bad kristin
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
