Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
