Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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