and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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