Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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