Can i not drive my cunt home
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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