i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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