This is not my ceiling
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
