Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
someone owes me an orgasm
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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