we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
