theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
