What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
