hotel room ftw
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
