If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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