You really coming over, don't trick.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
