No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
