remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
