How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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