Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
