I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize