That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
