Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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