me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
