I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
