none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
