Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
