I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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