Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
