the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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