my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
