this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize