I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just found a bag of teeth...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize