you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
