No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
