A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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