What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
