I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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