great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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