He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
