John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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