He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
