Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize