Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
